I HATE pacifiers. Hate 'em. Binkies, dummies, soosies, call them what you will -- to me they just scream "gateway addiction." First the babies start with the pacifiers... next thing you know, they're smoking in the boy's room or shooting up in some dank, urine-soaked alley on the outskirts of Chinatown.
Okay, that might be a bit extreme. I know my aversion is unreasonable -- lots of babies need soothers to calm them down to sleep or when they're in unfamiliar situations. I know a number of children who were hooked on their binkies during the early years of their life, and they eventually managed to give them up without a problem. They don't seem to have suffered any debilitating after-effects from their addiction, either.
And yet... and yet... every time I see a toddler crying frantically for his or her pacifier, I can't help but shudder inside. It's totally a me thing. There's something about that naked desparate neediness that makes me want to go out on to the back porch and smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in one go. And I don't even smoke.
So of course, after Milo was born, I resisted the lure of the soother. Even when he spent hours fussing and crying and refusing to settle down to sleep, still I resisted. Even after Rob went out and bought a couple of soothers on my mother's suggestion after a particularly trying two-hour screaming session between one and three in the morning, still I resisted. It wasn't until we were visiting Rob's folks on the island for five days and I was desparate to show his eager-to-be-doting grandparents that Milo wasn't a miserable, chronically fussy child whose mother clearly didn't have the first clue about how to make him happy that I finally caved in to all the peer pressure and gave him a soother.
And oh, the silence, the blessed silence of a calm baby. I couldn't believe how long I'd been willing to live without it, when all that time it was just one little piece of rubber and plastic away.
So yes, I started using a pacifier. Whenever Milo would get the least bit fussy, ploop! In it would go. It would quiet him down immediately and allow him to remain calm enough to suss out his surroundings and try to figure out what the heck this whole "reality" thing was all about. Finally, I began to work up the courage to take him out of the house for long periods of time. And with a soother, I could put Milo down for a nap or to sleep while still awake and could be reasonably sure that he wouldn't wake up an hour later crying, wondering where the hell he was or how he'd got there.
But still... whenever I'd plug that soother in Milo's mouth, I'd feel like a pimp or a pusher man. I worried that I was inviting a rabid monkey to hunker right down on his back and never leave. Heck, I felt like I was providing that damned monkey with building materials and floorplans so he could build a condo and rent out space to all his rabid little monkey friends.
I've got a terribly addictive personality myself, you see, and so I couldn't imagine a future in which a child of mine would be able to wean himself off a habit that made him feel good.
Well, whaddya know, despite all my worries and fears, my little boy has gone and proven me wrong. Twice! Not once, but twice! I'm giggling as I type this. MILO'S SOOTHER IS GOING THE WAY OF THE DODO!
Of course, Milo's currently developing an equally powerful addiction to sucking on his own fingers now, and that could be dangerous, because if he turns into a constant thumb-sucker he might eventually deform the shape of his palate and develop speech problems, and it's not like I can ever take his hands away from him. (Well I could, but I don't think that limb-reattachment surgery is covered by our medical plan.)
So we'll just have to see how this all pans out. For now, I'm just going to sleep happy tonight, knowing that my baby has proven himself capable of getting over one addiction, at least. I'll worry about the heroin and the crystal meth some other day.
Faced with increasing neglect, the pacifier couldn't help butsuspect that Milo was cheating on it with someone else...
And it was right. Caught -- in flagrante delicto! 
6 comments:
i WISH i had that option. Indy used his pacifier for about 3 days. after that i was screwed until he found his thumb. now he falls asleep with his thumb in his mouth every night. i fear it worse than a pacifier addiction, but maybe its because neither of mu sons would one.
See? I knew my fear of pacifiers was silly -- especially when they make things so much easier in so many ways. I wouldn't be surprised if the day comes when I wish Milo was still using his soother instead of preferring his thumb or fingers or smelly, saliva-covered blankie.
Sigh. Motherhood. There's always something to stress about, eh?
It was like reading my own story right there! I also caved on the pacifier, which I swore I would NEVER give any child of mine. Ah the peace! Especially when out shopping with a fussy baby. But I decided to take it away when Pumpkin was 3 months. That realistically became 3.5 months due to our trip to the US (I was not going to make her go cold turkey on a 10 hour flight). But since she found her thumb at about the same time taking the pacifier away was easy. I still use the pacifier occasionally when she is fussy in resturants or stores, but it really is so occasional I don't worry about it.
I was a thumb sucker myself and much prefer to see a 2 year old sucking their thumb than a pacifier. As long as they kick the habit by the time they get their adult teeth there should be no problems.
Ok, I breastfeed on demand. SO I never used a pacifer with either baby. I just unbuttoned my shirt. I am a human soother. My little girl sucks her fingers, and I had a big discussion with friends and family over giving her a pacifier instead of allowing her to suck her finger. My GOD like pediatrician told me fingers were much, much better than a pacifier, and to let her suck those always, instead of the soother. So I didn't even try to get her to take one. But I'm with you...I have friends who went both ways...but there is something about seeing an older child with one in his mouth at the grocery story or wherever that makes me crazy.
We resisted using a soother for many weeks, then one day Patty comes home with a couple. The boy didn't actually 'need' one, but sometimes he gets so freakin' fussy. Popped it in his mouth, he spat it out, tried a couple more times, same result. Maybe 11 weeks is too late to introduce one? Anyway so now I've got one brand new, and one thrice used soother avaialble - any takers?;-D
Yea...I love it when 3 year olds are walking around in malls with their parents with the dummies in their mouths....I kinda compare it to that of a parent using the tv as a babysitter for their kids...
:-S
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