However, I thought it would be fun to launch this blog a month early, so you could all bear witness to the final countdown as it plays out in my hormone-addled brain.
Holy jumping Jeebus on a pogo stick, I'm about to become a MOM!
Tick... tick... tick... Are the passing seconds pounding as loudly in your ears as they are in mine? What was that? Sorry - couldn't hear - you were drowned out by the inexorable march of Time, as it pulls me ever closer to parenthood.
And they say the biological clock you hear BEFORE you get pregnant is scary.
My only hope for survival is to take this whole motherhood thing one day at a time, and to rely on my husband Rob, my friends, and my family for their counsel and support.
Um, that would be you guys.
Help? Pretty please? Any advice or commiseration you can offer in the days and months ahead will be GREATLY appreciated!
In exchange, I'll do my very best to entertain you with my tales of madness and mayhem. Or at the very least, give you an excuse to pat yourself on the back and say, "There but for the grace of God..."
And for those of you who aren't parents, I'm hoping to give you some idea of what it's REALLY like to become one. The stories you'll find on this blog aren't going to be the typical accounts you see in any of those pretty, pastel "So You're Going to Be a Mumsy-Wumsy" books.
Nuh uh. I'm going to give you the "straight poop" - projectile vomit, leaky diapers, oozing butt blisters and all.
If my stories don't educate or entertain you, they at least may serve as some sort of birth control... I hear that overpopulation is a growing problem these days.
So. Let the blogging begin!
** My actual due date is July 7th. However, only 5% of babies arrive exactly on time, while 80% arrive within two weeks before or after their "D-day." Any way you slice it, I'm very closely approaching the time when baby could choose to arrive at any moment. Just don't tell Rob that, unless you want to see a grown man stick his fingers in his ears and sing, "La la la, I can't HEAR you!"
9 comments:
Okay, first rule: no posting photos of your preggy belly that establish that you look better than 90% of the rest of us after 2 years of pilates.
Lookin great! Not sure if you'll have that same smiley face on after 2 hours sleep everynight...ah you'll do fine! And I'm thrilled that you're going to name your new one after me. Bradley "can't get much cooler than me" II is a fantastic choice. Can't wait to meet the little critter.
Stay Happy,
Bradley I
WOW
Love the site and look forward to frequent check ins for more humourous and somewhat irreverent posts. Don't ever change! Wishing you your definition of the ideal labour and delivery. XO Pam
Hi, everyone! Thanks so much for all your feedback -- much appreciated!
A couple of quick things I feel I should point out: This picture was taken about six weeks ago. The belly is now much bigger. MUCH bigger. I look like I recently inhaled a whole watermelon. And there doesn't exist a shirt thick enough to hide the graphic details of my innie-turned-outie belly button.
And Bradley I, how did you guess we were planning to name the child after you? Yes, it's true -- regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl, the baby's going to be named "Jerky jerk jerkface boy." Either that or "Elvie Pelvie."
Heh heh...
Oh, and Pam, my dear -- re: my definition of the ideal labour and delivery -- does that mean I can arrange to have the baby delivered by stork?
Hee hee... xoxox
Great idea. Pay particular attention to the nose!
Re: stork. It's a little late for that. Maybe nextime?
Congrats on the latest installment! How did you find the time?! Are you still snoring or haven't you slept long enough to find out?
The blog is great! - I didn't stop scrolling til the end and still I wanted more, more, MORE MOOOORE!!! I'm guessing your entries might become less frequent and more delerious as Milo sucks *everything* out of you. But oh so cute. We'll forgive him. Keep it coming, mommy!
Cindylou
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